Bad Quake Clan: Quake Humor from Ukraine — Qumor… 1999

1. Management

1.1. Management in Quake is carried out only by the mouse + keyboard combination

“‘Mouse, mouse and more mouse!’ – so said V.I. Lenin about management in Quake, and in this I absolutely agree with the leader of the world proletariat. The mouse is the key to victory! She is the first, last and most fundamental thing in Quake. In a prudent combination with the keys, of course. I am always pleased with the assurances of keyboardists that it doesn’t matter what, it matters how. I want to fix:

Not considering myself an ace, I still want to share my experience. One day my friend (the head of the security service of a newspaper) invited me to fight in the evening on the grid with his bulls – big specialists in Quake. As it turned out, those bulls were keyboardists. To begin with, four of us fought on E1M7, for 40 minutes without limiting frags. Result – ha! – 236:20. Tractor drivers cried like children.

However, let’s continue. You pull out the console, type +mlook, press enter, remove the console, set the maximum mouse sensitivity in the menu and – “Enter the Mouse!” – Start training. This option – mlook – is the most important, I would even say – epoch-making (however, like everything else made in id). The head must be turned constantly. Fighter pilots of the times of the Great Patriotic War wore silk scarves so as not to rub their necks, but the use of a mouse completely rejects the scarf. Remember, without mlook, don’t even poke your head anywhere – they’ll kill you instantly.

This may seem uncomfortable at first. In fact, this is not so, you yourself will understand later, as soon as you realize all the power and greatness of the Mouse. On the keyboard: W – run forward, S – run back, A – slide to the left, D – slide to the right. All control should be under one hand, and not as it is assigned by default. By default – special layout for keyboardists. They can always be recognized from afar: it is their juicy liver that scatters in such picturesque fountains, it is their flags that are always at the very bottom, and there is a minus before the number of frags. We affectionately call them “tractors”. If only levers were attached to the keys, then their movements and agility would have acquired a complete resemblance to a bulldozer. these are their flags always at the very bottom, and there is a minus before the number of frags. We affectionately call them “tractors”. If only levers were attached to the keys, then their movements and agility would have acquired a complete resemblance to a bulldozer. these are their flags always at the very bottom, and there is a minus before the number of frags. We affectionately call them “tractors”. If only levers were attached to the keys, then their movements and agility would have acquired a complete resemblance to a bulldozer.

Well, you run with the keys (for a start, you can even glue some pimples on them for a clearer feeling), look with the mouse and aim. The most important types of weapons (RL and GL) are turned on with the E and Q keys, switching weapons with numbers is certain death. Left mouse button – fire, right – Thunderbolt. It is quite good to get a crosshair of the sight (again you push the console,

I’ll tell you this: even if you’re still playing DOOM on your Trentium or Quarterentium, try it with a mouse there as well. How happy your friends and comrades will be, I just won’t undertake to convey.

1.2. Mouse as such

What breed of mice is especially good? Whatever they say about Billy Boy, he forges wonderful mice. Thresh, the Great and Terrible himself uses Microsoft Mouse 2.0 (for which, by the way, Billy Boy pays good money). Sujoy Roy, Britain’s thunderstorm, recommends Logitech. Our authoritative people agree with them, so alignment with the heroes!

Keep the mouse ball and rollers clean, your life and victory depend on the accuracy of positioning, so regularly wash off the wool and lard wrapped around the shafts with alcohol.

In this matter, I am not a great specialist, and at first I do not advise you to reinvent the wheel. Therefore, I give a standard one, repeatedly tested on the skins of comrades, which I myself have been using for a long time and quite successfully. I’ll add a brief explanation:

mlook – n/a
+crosshair 1 – sight cross on the stooped back of the enemy
bind w +forward – move forward
bind s +back – move backward
bind a +moveleft – strafe to the left
bind d +moveright – strafe to the right
bind space +jump – jump
bind e “impulse 7” – Rocket Launcher
bind q “impulse 6” – Grenade Launcher
bind mouse2 “impulse 8” – Thunderbolt
bind mouse1 + attack – fire, battery!
m_filter 1 – smoothes mouse movement
. sensitivity 12 – mouse sensitivity. Then try and adjust it yourself, in principle, it can be two or three times higher. Just do not forget that in Windows it is also regulated. Do more, get used to it, add it again until you find what you need.
sv_aim 2 – disables auto-aim so that you can shoot at the floor
scr_conspeed 10000 – throws the console
perky m_pitch .022 – sets the default mouse y-axis
d_mipscale 1 – the same with texture rendering
vid_mode 0 – enables the standard 320×200
cl_bob 0 – does not pump weapons on running
cl_rollangle 0 – doesn’t swing when strafing
r_waterwarp 0 – does not shake walls underwater
bind f “say Die, asshole, oh-ho-ho!” – it cheers up the enemy
v_kicktime 0
v_kickpitch 0
v_kickroll 0 – these three don’t let you get hit when you hit
d_mipcap 0 – I don’t know why, but let it be :)

Do not be lazy, hammer it once so that later you don’t mess with the console. Keep the whole thing in the ID1 directory in a separate file like yourname.cfg (or by default), and before starting, make a binding:

bind “exec yourname.cfg”

Activate by pressing and immediately start bleeding. Come on, good read, try it now!

2. Basic combat movement technique

2.1. All movement in Quake is done by running.

If your menu option “always run” is not yet “on”, run march to the electronic blockhead and turn it on immediately! Only then can you read on. You can’t go to Quake – they’ll shoot you right there (however, if you’re lucky, you can also run on the run).

The fastest run and (most importantly!) the longest jumps are diagonal (running forward and constant strafe left-right), but this is for experienced guys.

It’s been known since the days of DOOM that strafe at an acute angle along the wall is even faster, check it out. By the way, it is against this that all kinds of wrecking ledges are set up on all the walls.

However, during a normal run, do not poke into the walls, it slows you down a lot.

2.2. Make an unpredictable maneuver

Run “anti-submarine” zigzag, make sharp turns, jump, behave unpredictably. Eliminate any possibility of aimed fire. Heard RL shot – run like a hare.

2.3. Perform 180-degree turns while running, keeping your direction of travel and speed

It is very useful in the case of a comrade who is chasing after you, foreseeing close prey and already howling with evil joy, who suddenly catches a grenade on his forehead on the opposite way, colorfully dousing the surrounding area with pieces of his excessively agile body. It is noteworthy that at the same time, the opponent rushing after you, sticking out his tongue and rolling his eyes, almost never strafes, boldly beating off grenades with his head. As a rule, a rare head can withstand more than two grenades, after the second it usually abruptly goes away from the body.

And when leaving the chase with a jump down, this is generally a deadly number. A ruthless enemy is chasing you, you run to the edge, jump off, turn 180 and shoot. A gambling enemy almost always jumps after you in order to finish you off, and then – nakosya! Grenade in the face! Not everyone can take it…

In addition to shooting off those who are catching up, this is a vital maneuver when turning a corner. Approaching any turn, be sure to look back! If an enemy sneaks insidiously from behind, then they were waiting for him!

2.4. jump

Learn to ride like a kangaroo. There are plenty of places that you can jump over without any stupid bridges. For example: DM2, where Megahealth is in the corner and a red fofan is nearby. You can easily jump to them from the railing or directly from the teleporter. To jump straight, when taking off, look under your feet, start from the very edge, and in flight, swing the mouse so as if he looked down at his feet and raised his head again. In this way, you fly a little further, which is quite enough. Or “running forward with a strafe”, that is, as if diagonally, so you also fly further. Result: no need to press the treacherous button (over which, by the way, some passenger often arranges an ambush) and pretend to be noisy. Well, and if you still fell into the lava, quickly swim to the window through which you can see the button. There you can jump onto the ledge, and from there jump to the teleporter (you stand facing the window, run back and jump with a small interval).

And near the next button, you can jump from a place through the lava around the corner, making an elite jump called U-turn. When leaving the chase, it is better not to find. It is performed like this: run up, jump not from the very edge, and, without releasing “forward”, sharply steer the mouse so as to keep your eyes on the end of the wall. Why is it necessary? Well, you did!!! Firstly, there is no sound from the button and panels – conspiracy! Secondly, if evil boys are chasing you, there will be no time to press the buttons. And if the pursuer cannot jump like that, then you will get a couple of seconds of respite, and he (to put it mildly) will get hell. And in general, it’s just cool! Tractor drivers, as usual, rest. Take lava baths. Don’t be afraid, fuel oil, dive bolder! Even a tractor driver can jump out there.

At the same level at the top, you can jump to the other side through a platform floating in the air in just two jumps, without waiting for it to crawl back and forth (while having time to grab GL, Megahealth and grenades). But you can jump even steeper

Master the jump turns: +mlook allows you to instantly turn around on the fly at least 360 degrees and freeze the enemy waiting for you below. You can immediately jump from the eaves with your back forward, at the same time firing at those lurking in the aisles and scattering in desperation.

A well-aimed shot at the crown, performed in a jump from above, invariably gives an excellent result, since it is not clear from which side the victim was shot and the trace of the grenade with her head torn off can not be seen. Only when you jump down is it better not to press the buttons at all, but only to steer with the mouse. The physics in Quake is very peculiar and in flight you can move in any direction.

2.5. Jump with RL and GL

It is done approximately like this. You run forward. You direct your gaze to the floor. Simultaneously shoot the floor with the RL and jump up. Rocket jump is our name. Result: a jump to an unprecedented height. During training, there are three possible outcomes:

  1. You are torn to pieces.
  2. The jump does not go higher than usual.
  3. 1 and 2 together.

As the biggest authority on jumping anywhere, Jackie Chan, said on such occasions: “It’s all because of the fact that you don’t train enough, you fat pig!” So hold on. For the first few hundred times, nothing will work, but over time, you will be able to instantly jump into any strategically important places, grabbing armor, beasts and weapons, and with a good skill, you can even jump out of lava. Rocket jump allows you to jump on various ledges above the doors, from where you can caress anyone with a grenade on the back of the head.

Note that the height of the jump can be adjusted by the interval between the shot and the bounce. In general, it has the following effect on the body (I give for especially thoughtful, inquisitive and attentive, like the young Marx, quakers):

Damage dealt (armor/health):
Red armor: 40/10
Yellow armor: 30/20
Green armor: 15/35 Unarmored
: 50 health

I want to warn you right away: if + mlook is not enabled, I guarantee the fulfillment of the above three points all the time. And for God’s sake, you don’t have to write all sorts of idiotic scripts (or macros, who the hell knows what they are called by the club-handed ones) to perform a maneuver by pressing a single button, this is complete nonsense. I give only for the general development! It looks like this:

bind +rj
alias +rj “cl_pitchspeed 100000;impulse 7;+lookdown;wait;-lookdown;
cl_pitchspeed 150;+jump;+attack;echo Rocket Jump”
alias -rj “-attack;-jump;force_centerview”

A find for a crippled crippled tractor driver. I do not advise decent people to use it. Here the whole point is where the hands grew from, and not how deftly you enter commands into the console.

Rocket jump has approximately five main varieties:

Straight up.

Long jump.


Death from above.

Leaping attack.

First, see above. Make jumps from the lower floors upwards, bypassing teleporters, elevators and at the same time shooting on the fly. At some levels (for example, E1M2, E1M7, DM2) from the upper platforms, you can generally climb under the ceiling and hide there.

The second is performed on the run in any direction in order to move quickly. Where the ceiling is low, use this technique to jump back: DM4, you run into Megahealth, rocket jump – and you already have RL in the opposite corner. Or vice versa, you run into this room backwards, look at an angle of 45 under your feet, rocket jump – and already feel the corner of the Megahealth box with your ass.

The third is a defensive maneuver: if they shoot at your feet, jump up, this will provoke a defensive rocket jump. With a successful coincidence of the jump and the explosion, you will be thrown far up and to the side, and you will get the opportunity to plant him from above and from the side. In addition, the player model is enclosed in the so-called bounding box, a kind of box. In general, you take up more space than it looks. And a grenade cannot fly between your legs, because you are not a figure, but a bounding box. When you fight with the bot (see paragraph 6.3), you will notice that some grenades seem to fly by, but for some reason they explode on you and you die. So, it’s not your face that is so wide, but this very bounding box is wider than your faces. And the top of your head is flat and square (like many people in life). In short, sometimes the radius of the explosion will throw you at the enemy’s turnips. Don’t get lost here! Until you fall, hit down with all your might!

Fourth – the origin is attributed to the game BattleTech (or MechWarrior, I don’t remember), there it was called Death from Above. It is used in the course of the attack in spacious rooms. rocket jump! You fly up like a dove of peace with a lemon in your mouth, and from there you hit the guys who didn’t have time to scatter. Included with the Beast, the height of the jump – Mom, don’t worry! You manage to release up to four grenades down, as long as there are enough casualties. Here you need to be more careful, because with beastly it will affect you as follows:

Damage dealt (armor/health):
Red armor: 160/40
Yellow armor: 120/80
Green armor: 100/100 (read dead)
Unarmored: 200 health

The fifth one is just for fun. I explain: young, slender, handsome and ruddy, you burst into a crowd of stupid tractor drivers, mediocrely trying to imitate a real deathmatch, and you start cheerfully, like a young baboon, jumping with rocket jump. Ready or not, here I come! From tractor drivers (as usual) only shreds fly.

As a variety, grenade jump exists and is even occasionally used. For the first time, it took place in single player Quake at the E4M4 level – The Palace of Hate, where you had to throw a grenade into a hole carefully prepared by Sandy Peterson under a horizontal teleporter and use it to get to a secret place. In Deathmatch, no one will prepare any holes for you (except for a cozy grave), therefore, we act like this: we stand under the place we want to hit, throw the grenade vertically upwards, it falls, bounces, falls a second time – at this moment we run into it and jump at the same time as the explosion. If you have armor and health, it is recommended to hit the floor from RL at the same time. Despite, that such a combo jump turns out to be almost twice as high as a regular rocket jump, the maneuver is used extremely rarely, it is too complicated and takes a lot of time. For example, on DM3, right below the pentagram, you can fly into the window.

It affects the body like this:
In red armor: 70/20
In yellow armor: 55/35
In green armor: 25/65
Without armor: 90 health

And when your toughness reaches monstrous proportions, use the grenade rocket jump at the same time as the beast (chick – and you’re already in heaven, he-he). At the same time, keep a close eye on armor and health: red armor is a must, megahealth (better than a couple) is highly recommended. Otherwise, only your smoking, charred scrotum will lonely fly to your destination.

The armor/health breakdown is as follows:
Red armor:
200/160 Yellow armor: 150/210
Green armor: 100/260 Unarmored
: 360 (he-he) health

I draw your attention: in the case of a team game in teamplay 1 mode, even if you hit one of your own, you cannot harm the health of the guys from your team, you will only ruin your armor. Since Quake classifies players by the color of the pants, and you have them of the same “team” color, then your health will not be harmed by rocket jumps. Use it.

2.6. In melee, run around the enemy in circles and jump

A fundamental maneuver in absolutely all 3D games, the “dance of death” is called because it always ends in death. It is performed as follows: you press the strafe in any direction and steer with the mouse, while continuously firing at the enemy from a weapon appropriate to this situation. If this is RL – constantly bounce when firing so that your grenades go under his feet, and his – do not get you, while giving warning. The maneuver is especially good against keyboard players, who don’t even have time to turn around at such a speed. The height of mockery is to shoot him in the back of the head with a double-barreled shotgun, accompanying the massacre with appropriate comments. In extreme cases, your running around will make him dizzy and he will throw up right on his favorite keyboard.

If there is no free tractor driver at hand, practice on the E4M4, there are excellent columns in the middle of the rooms. Run around, shoot and aim. When you learn, start to cut circles alternately approaching, then running away, this is also very important, because it knocks down the sight even more.

Note that instinctively you always want to run to the right. Never do this, because a smart person immediately shoots at the floor to the left of the victim (later you will understand why). Constantly sharply change direction and then raids closer, then a little poop. Jump in a ragged rhythm, otherwise you will always land on the grenade of the one who keeps the rhythm.

As an option for large rooms, a diagonal attack is possible, it is rarely used, so it makes sense to learn.

2.7. Learn to climb out of lava

There are many places where you can just get out of the lava without using rocket jump. For example, on DM2 you can easily jump out from under the moving floor panels (if you have health and armor is strong). There are many such places (where you can get out of the lava), look for yourself.

And when jumping out of lava with rocket jump (also an elite jump, lava jump last name, author – Sujoy Roy, GB) you press “full back”, at the same time “jump” and shoot yourself from RL with the corresponding result. The usual rocket jump will not help. Try.

2.8. Learn to skip elevators

Learn to jump through the elevators from top to bottom, so that you are not pinched by the platform for the delicate parts of the body. This gives a great advantage when avoiding a chase. And on the fly, you can throw a couple of grenades at the platform so that it arrives already charged after the chase arrives.

2.9. The last word to keyboard lovers

A permanent place of action for you is a shooting range, where complex exercise number one is performed on you: shooting morons one at a time and in batches. None of you are good for anything. So … Sitting target, a goat on a rope. And where are there so many of you freaks?

10. Conclusion

The diametrical opposite of the advice given can cause bewilderment. In fact, everything is simple: thesis-antithesis-synthesis, the dialectical approach – it solves all issues in Quake too!

If where repeated – nothing, the truth does not grow dim from repetition.

But chu!… My subtle hearing picks up a knock coming from all sides: these are your opponents, having learned about what you have become, having mastered my brief instruction, with gloomy doom, they make wooden pea coats for themselves in advance. And do not feel sorry for the nails for the guys! The lid must be screwed on properly.

Guys, earn money and connect to the Internet! There you will meet interesting people, get to know them and, most importantly, KILL them!..

Happy hunting, Mowgli!


All material was taken from the site Quake – on – Amur.

July 16, 1999 — Our new banner, by H@USE

“Hai!!! It’s 6 o’clock in the morning, I just came from the disco, got into the Internet, climbed the pages and decided that we need a new banner :), sat down a little and here it is in front of you !!! Use it for links. Well, that’s all for now – Bai…”

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