"The sound of footsteps, the smell of burning... you'd be a fool to fire a point blank rocket. Oh, you're dead! Quake III Arena has been the most awaited game of the year and doesn't disappoint those looking for the ultimate in deathmatch gaming. Load up, get online, and fight back with your very own BFG — that's Big Fragging guide."
"If I concentrate really hard, then at the back of my peripheral vision I can just about make out the swish of a ponytail as Todd Hollenshead, CEO of id Software, shakes his head in dismay. 'No, your other right. Over there. The red armour,' he sighs, as I nervously jab the WASD of Quake 4 deathmatch, walking into walls, falling off ledges, and getting hurled into walls through faulty jump-pad use. I've been marked out as a player of remedial standards and Hollenshead is doing his utmost to make me less of a loser. It's horrible, and hard as I push myself I just can't concentrate. It's truly the stuff of nightmares. I'm playing Quake in front of the men from id — and the men from id think that I'm a noob. Freud would have a field day."
"Doom-induced Motion Sickness: Many people have been discussing Doom-induced motion sickness on the net since the game came out. There is no real cure for some except to stop playing (obviously out of the question!). Here are some helpful hints: Take breaks. Most people get sick after long periods. Playing on a plane, train, or in a car on a laptop will cause both you and the person sitting next to you to hurl. Get up slowly after playing. Turn your monitor off, sit for 5 minutes after playing and then get up. Change the screen size (using the plus and minus keys) from time to time. Try adjusting your distance from the monitor (usually further away is better). Try an alternate control. Most people find the mouse is the best way to control your speed. Destroy your computer, erase all copies of Doom in your possession and move to a desert island."
"Well, it looks like the Russians finally discovered how to bring down capitalism. The Russians didn't need ICBMs. All they needed was this piece of wisdom from the collected works of Donald Trump: owe the West $5 and the capitalist banking classes own you; owe them $50 billion and you own them."
"What you are about to read is the most important piece of information you will ever read! HEAT may appear to be an internet gaming network, but THIS IS NOT ABOUT COMPUTER GAMES, THIS IS ABOUT THE SURVIVAL OF THE HUMAN SPECIES! Dr. D. G. Bartha's CYBERDIVERSION THEORY says if we divert humankind's innate violent urges away from reality and into cyberspace NOW, we can stop senseless murder and end war forever! HEAT is the first practical application of this theory! Don't you see?! CyberDiversion is the road to WORLD PEACE, and HEAT is the bus!!"