Sujoy’s Quake Pages: Everybody Knows Chthon is a Chicken

Sujoy’s Quake Pages: Everybody Knows Chthon is a Chicken

chthonisachicken

Chthon is a Chicken

It has probably occured to you to wonder from which dimension Shub and his/her death dealing minions came from. Well while the rest of humanity was gibbin them, I Ernest Shambler the noted vegetarian and pacafist decided to do a little investigating.

What I can reveal after my extensive investiagtion is Chthon was a genetic experiment by our Governments Special Forces Catering Division to create a self-baisting oven ready chicken that could feed the entire Special Forces regiment.

You may have wondered why does Chthon have his butt in lava all the time? The answer is because he was genetically engineered to prefer oven tempatures!

Old6a

How come he lives in that little room all the time? The answer is that it is in fact the oven originally designed to cook him. It was removed brick by brick to the other dimension by Grunts just before the invasion started. They put it back together wrong, which explains the holes in the ceiling.

Don’t believe me? I am led to believe by my sources that the electric pilot lighting device was installed by the architecturally ignorant and non-cooking grunts in the ceiling. Apparently it is still operational.

-Ernest Shambler

Tesr
(somewhere in Chthons Lair)
Contact Ernest via Robert Groom

https://web.archive.org/web/19970607144444/http://www.planetquake.com:80/sujoy/Archives/Nov96/Old6.shtml

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