Kannibas.com: Slacker Steve’s View

I have a friend, who we’ll call Steve (because thats his name and he doesn’t know I’m talking about him on this web site) who has some of the most annoying habits. One of them is his constant use of the phrase “There’s nothing worse than…”

I’m sure we all have similar sayings and habits, but some of Steve’s “NWT” comments just stick in my head for weeks. So in honor of the semi-institutional virtues in all of us, I present some of Slacker Steve’s more recent NWT comments. As always, you’re welcome to submit some of your own.

There’s nothing worse than…

[8-17-99]

Starting some lame ass web site and not keeping it updated
Having to buy new underwear just because your wife insists
Having a wife (just kidding!)
Going to pour your second beer and as the anticipation grows while the beer begins flowing into the glass, the keg runs dry
Playing those same three maps over and over and over….
Having enough money to get good beer or bad pot, but not both
The alarm clock. Who the hell invented this damn thing anyway?
All these great looking young actresses who would call me sir
Bell bottom jeans. Come on… they looked stupid even when I wore them twenty years ago.
The stunned look on the “food service engineer” when your order totals sixteen bucks at Taco Bell
Finding out your “food service engineer” screwed you out of two tacos and hot sauce. Fucker.[5-17-99]
The bong water is cold, the “tobacco” is dry and the matches are WET!
Waking up next to a “mouth breather” who’s been drinking and puking all night
Being unable to identify where the hell that dogshit smell is coming from
Finding out your roommate drank the last beer just as you open the peanuts
When the cheeze sticks to the top of the pizza box
Ever step on a bananna slug while barefoot? Yech!
Loosing the snot you were trying to flick. Where the hell did it go?[4-28-99]
Getting mostly fries with your chili cheese fries
Having an itchy nose during a clan match
Drinking your beer (or so you thought) at a party only to find a cigarette butt in it
@Home service… ‘Nuff said
Bong water on the new carpet
Fragging while on the phone… “NECK CRAMPS FROM HELL”
Forgetting the extra bacon on the bacon cheesburger
Having to explain to a new girlfriend that you can’t see her ’cause there’s a clan match that night
Spilling your beer on your crotch
Spilling your beer. Period.
Disco and the 80’s making a comeback[4-17-99]
Finding money in your laundry, thinking it’s the twenty you lost and finding it’s only a ten.
The bottom of the bag of fries. They’re all stale and blackened and shit.
When your fingers poke through the toilet paper
Liking (or licking?) a girl and finding out she’s gay
Having to pay for sex
Stepping on a pebble when you’re barefoot
Breast reduction surgery (I have to agree here. BS)