Kannibas.com: Mr. Grapple’s Favorite Taunts

Kannibas.com: Mr. Grapple’s Favorite Taunts

Screen shot 2017-10-14 at 3.55.22 AM

I was playing a few games the other night when someone fired off a great one-liner to me. It was so good that it had me relfecting on some of the better ones I’d heard over the last few years of Quaking. In honor of the whit and humor of some of you, I thought I’d share some of my favorites. Also, Bong has offered to let me “host” a little piece of this site where you can submit some of yours. And in case you’re wondering about the e-mail address, some other dickweed has taken Grapple, MrGrapple and Mr_Grapple already. WTF? Guess I should have trademarked the name.
Anyway… without further adieu, here are some of my faves:


  • Look ma! No hands!
  • I’m gonna rail your ass like a gerbil in Richard Geer
  • That went through you like a Burrito Supreme through a bulemic! [One of my all-time faves]
  • That hurt like the time I got my dick stuck in the car door!
  • Bent over by the Butt Pirate!
  • You launched that grenade like a Taco Bell dinner! [Someone has a Taco Bell fixation]
  • That was easier than a nympho on ecstasy
  • Blown to bits just like Mom and Dad
  • You gonna eat those gibs?
  • Red… let’s paint the room red
  • That was more gore than even Tipper could handle!
  • Boy is my face red… is that your’s on the wall?
  • Cleanup on aisle 7!
  • If we work together we can have the place clean before mom gets home
  • Get yer head off of my face
  • Splattered like my pet frog
  • You exploded like my 12 year old virgin date last week
  • You ate all seven layers of my rocket burrito!
  • Get off my face lezbo!
  • Would you like hot or mild sauce with that gib?

    So as you send in your faves (or make some up like I did with the TB references, I’ll post them here. Maybe Bong can come up with a prize for the best one (hint, hint).



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.