Quake Poem to an Unknown Friend by Gorebag the Lost

To An Unknown Friend

: The level was simple,
The layout was clear;
Bring the enemy flag
From their base to here.
So with armor and life,
And a few mirv grenades,
I dove past a sniper
Their base to invade.
My snipers had kept
All their snipers suppressed;
It looked like their defense
Had taken a rest.
I zipped up their ramp
And waltzed into their hole,
And danced ’round their flag
With a hop and a roll.
When I started to glow,
And the flag was not there,
I knew I had dallied
As long as I dare.
I eluded three guards
And a sentry or two,
Then dove off their tower
And into the blue.
I swam to the stairs
And dashed up the ramp,
Where I saw where my teammates
In defense were camped.
So, down my own ramp
I pranced with all speed,
I had obeyed the law
Of the flag-running creed:
Remember to always go for the flag,
No other objective, not even a frag –
Defend when you can,
Defend when you’re able;
Let no enemy sit at your ammo dump table.
Go straight for the flag,
And come back with your prize,
But the team takes the cake,
So it must organize.
To my unbounded joy,
Our flag was still there –
To my utter dismay,
I could not hit it square.
I finally realized
With a terrible fright
I could jump up and down
For a day and a night;I could not tag that flag
It would not leave my grip –
My easy won victory
Was starting to slip.
“Please help me,” I typed,
“Lest I meet any foe,
For I’ve no idea where
This damn flag ought to go.”
“Oh no,” someone groaned,
“A newbie has stumbled ,
And brought the flag back
But now he has fumbled.
I was just gonna leave
But I’ll take time and stay
Just wait there good buddy
And I’ll show you the way.”
He came round the corner,
And hopped up and down,
And he knew in a flash
That his newbie’d been found.
So slowly he led me
As backwards he ran,
And I followed as quickly
As a newbie can.
We got to the bridge
And except for the lag,
I might have delivered
The enemy flag.
But someone else capped it,
They knew what to do –
And thanks to my friend
Now I knew it too.
I thanked him profusely,
And blew up as I did,
He said “np old buddy
I’ll see ya ’round, kid.”
To the millions of Quakers
Who’ve all done the same,
I just want to tell you
You make Quake a great game.
So now we’ve arrived
At this long poem’s end
So thank you again,
My unknown Quaking friend.