"The bottom line is that we need hard and fast, unalterable rules for games like Quake in order to ensure that the playing field remains level."
"Pauly Shore joins id. John Carmack announced yesterday its decision to hire the talentless actor to serve as comic relief during the hectic development process of Quake 2. 'So far,' said Carmack, 'Pauly has contributed some pretty good ideas. For instance, since Quake 2 will have absolutely nothing to do with Quake, he suggested changing the name to Pauly: The Game... He even gave us a new idea for a weapon, the weasel gun.' 'Check it, bro!' remarked Shore. 'In Quake, there's, like, Pauly-gons!'"
On December 31, 1996, we the campers, in order to annoy those who whine, formally establish camping, ensure the hatred of our hordes, provide a home for closet campers, promote the art of camping en masse, and secure the blessing of safety in numbers for ourselves and our secret society, do ordain and establish this clan for all campers.