QuakeHelp: Reflecting, Aiming and the Llama Marker

QuakeHelp: Reflecting, Aiming and the Llama Marker, by Mach

quakehelp - reflecting

Reflecting, Aiming, and the Llama Marker.


I have been reflecting. This is oftentimes a dangerous thing for a Gamer, especially during a game. It is during those time that you may be pausing to have a drag off a needed smoke, gawking at a new texture on a Q3A wall, or even …parish the thought… Lagged Out. I sit a wait till the horrid Phone Jack disappears to see if I have been spared or not.

Here comes some Smart-Ass. Machinegun fire till you’re fragged.

“Die Fag!” he says.

Even though he goes by many nicks, you know him. He is the one that has 25 bound keys with Crap such as “There I go, owning jOOs!”, or “Ur a Fag!”. I am sure you have seen this dude. He plays on all of the maps. He will tell you he is Master of all of them. He may tell you that “You suck!” or perhaps “If I had ur skills I would quit playing.” Most all the time he has a fast connection. That is because he is on his Daddy’s computer. He will ping flood the Server with worthless crap from his bound key arsenal. His game is not DeathMatch …it is irritation.

Well…if you’re like me, we just go on with the game, lagged as we are, and try to find a place where there are few enough players so we can get a good shot in. We are not the fastest players nor the most skilled. We play because we are Gamers. We don’t complain…what good would it serve?

The Idea of this game is FUN after all, isn’t it?


Finally an opportunity presents itself where you have a doorway lined up and a Railgun in hand. A player stands for a moment in the doorway right in your crosshairs…you fire…dead player. What is the next thing you hear? “fOOk U ya lame Camper” or better yet, “You’re a f*#% Bot!, get offa this Server or I will have ur ass banned!”

So here I sit, enjoying the most advanced game yet conceived, using a computer that I still make payments on, listening to these mundane accusations. I have 400+ ping and some lame punk calling me a Bot. Telling me he is going to get me kicked off an open Public Server. He frags me when my face is to a wall or while I am typing “Nice Shot Dude” to another skilled player.

The Llama Marker

I have an idea…a new skin…bound to a key. I aim at this lame excuse of a player and hit that new prebound key called The Llama Marker and *POOF*, he has a new skin! A walking, whining, glowing Llama headed skin that will make it worth my while to concentrate on gunning down. The more he whines the brighter he will glow. More and more of the players will target this key-bound, self proclaimed Quake Master. He will finally admit defeat, not by apology but by dropping the server.

Our virtual world that we enjoy will be pristine again…for a few minutes at least…



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