Welcome to the virtual llama farm! At the virtual llama farm, we raise virtual llamas. Actually, since this virtual farm is in a very real, very small U of MD dorm room, we only have one virtual llama, Larry. Please don’t tell Resident Life–they don’t llike pack animals in the room (unless the’re in a 10 gallon fish tank, for some odd reason).
Larry’s current state
Larry the llama is awake.
Larry the llama last ate at 5:01.
Larry the llama is thinking about hypergeometry
Larry the llama’s current weight is 303 pounds.
Larry the llama is in the green room.
Larry the llama feels happy.
You throw some Larry some grains of food. He makes a happy llama noise and eats them.
Larry’s current weight is now 365 pounds.
Unfortunately, Larry has been overfed today and is fifty pounds overweight! He vomits all over you.
You pet Larry on the head.
Larry nods and in his llama way thanks you.
You pet Larry on the neck.
A tingle goes down Larry’s spine. He lloves you now.
You pet Larry on the belly.
It’s a shame that Llamas can’t purr, because Larry would do that right now.
You pet Larry on the chest.
Larry smiles at you.
You pet Larry on his tushy.
Larry files a sexual harrasment suit against you.
You run your hand down Larry’s neck, and your eyes meet for a fleeting moment. Massaging his big, woolly shoulders, you are impressed by his animal strength. Soon you are in the throes of passion! The rest of this is left to your imagination because it is far too disgusting for me to write.
You pet Larry on the nose.
You fondly pet the grass. The grass smiles back up at you and you know you’ve made a new friend.
You pet Larry on the back.
Larry appreciates the gesture and blows you a llama kiss.
You pet Larry on the leg.
Larry looks at you quizically. Why would you pet a llama on the leg?
You have missed the llama. Perhaps you need some help locating the actual llama in this picture. See the brown thing? That is the llama.