Quake II Weenie: Cowardice

Quake II Weenie: Cowardice

Being a successful coward doesn’t always mean finding a quiet place to hide. It means skulking around. Taking advantage of the weak. Pulling out every low-down trick you know.

And sometimes finding a quiet place to hide.

An important part of being a Quake Weenie is learning the fine art of the cheap kill. Every kill is a fair kill when you’re a Weenie.


abusing honor

Pathetic Tactic AlertOnly the most pathetic players will use the sucker play tactic. It’s so low, in fact, that a truly good player will avoid it religiously.

If you pause for a moment to type a message, most honorable frag gods will notice you just standing there and will assume that you’re either typing or lagged… and will move on. In fact, a truly high-grade frag god will actuallyapologize to you if he or she accidentally frags you when you’re standing still.

So? Stand still.

There’s a good chance that any frag god running past you will leave you alone. Once the frag god turns around you can repay the act of honor with a rocket in the back.

P.S. All of this assumes that you are a cheap, soul-less, misanthropic sub-human with no redeeming virtues whatsoever. You probably pee in the sink too.

P.P.S. Don’t expect this to work more than once. In fact, expect to become the frag god’s favorite target for the remainder of the match. You have been warned.

“Evil Dick”

related listings of “abusing honor”
Skill level: loser
topic: cowardice

bottleneck

There’s nothing more corwardly than kicking your opponents when they’re down. Victimize people who fall into slime pits. There are two basic approaches:First and simplest — just pick on people who fall in. People in slime pits have just one thing on their minds: “get me out of this frigging slime pit”. Only the most level-headed Frag God can run for the exit to a slime pit while cooly returning your fire. So if you’re near slime, listen for someone to fall in, and then move in for a cheap kill.

The second is even cheaper. Most slime pits have a small number of exits, and many have just one. When someone falls into the slime, head for the exit. You can either block it with your body and fire at your opponents until they sink into the slime, or “virtually” block the exit by barraging it with rocket and/or grenade fire.

Mark (PeeblE) Sawyer
(who said he felt bad about sending it)

Heckubus
While you’re bottlenecking someone, what the heck… throw in a DFA.

When some poor weenie falls into a slime pit, head for the most likely exit. If possible, stand with your feet hanging past the edge where the weenie will jump up. While he’s trying to bob up and out of the slime, you can block him with your feet and give him a couple of whacks in the head with your axe.

You should be ashamed of this kind of behavior. But you’re probably not.

related listings of “bottleneck”
Skill level: loser
topic: cowardice
topic: offense
topic: grenade launcher
topic: rocket launcher

cheap kill

definitionYou have committed a Cheap Kill if you destroy your opponent in a way that anyone else would have been ashamed of.

The best confirmation that you have committed a Cheap Kill will come from your opponent, in the form of an message just after the frag. Something like “That was really pathetic” or “I can’t believe you did that” or simply “Camper!”

You are a Weenie. Every frag is fair. There is no room for pride.

related listings of “cheap kill”
Skill level: glossary
topic: cowardice

cherry picking

definitionPlayers respawn at a limited, predefined set of sites on any given level. Cherry picking is camping out near one of the respawn sites, and waiting for someone to pop into the world effectively naked. This is considered a cheap kill, bordering on the lame. You didn’t read it here.
related listings of “cherry picking”
Skill level: glossary
topic: camping and sniping
topic: cowardice

cross-dressing

definitionIn team-vs-team play, cross-dressing is assigning yourself the shirt and pants color of the opposing team for “espionage” purposes. Extremely cheap, and if you get a reputation for it, it’s the kind of thing that’s likely to get you banned from a server. This “cheat” is circumvented by teams which play with custom “skin” textures.
related listings of “cross-dressing”
Skill level: glossary
topic: cowardice

desecrate the dead

Be a ghoul. If you hear an explosion and then see a message that someone’s just self-fragged (something like “Player just tripped his own grenade”), run don’t walk to the place where you heard the *boom*.Same goes when you see messages saying that two players have just fragged each other.

If you get to the scene of the suicide before anyone else, snag that backpack (or, for a mutual frag, “them backpacks”).

Now you have a choice.

  • If you’re a major weenie, get the hell out of there. There’s an excellent chance that the dearly departed will respawn and head right back to the scene of the crime for the same reason you just did.
  • If you’re anything but a major weenie, wait in ambush. There’s an excellent chance that the dearly departed will respawn and head right back to the scene of the crime… and since the hoser(s) just respawned there’s an equally excellent chance that you’ll get to frag you a nice, tender opponent.

Tim Hall

related listings of “desecrate the dead”
Skill level: trainee
topic: cowardice
topic: miscellaneous

die well

When you die, you leave behind whatever weapon you were using. So if you’re about to bite the big one anyway, take yourself out. It’ll cost you a kill, but you may find a small silver lining:If your health is so low that you don’t think you can survive out there, find a nice quiet place and kill yourself. When you come back to life, run to the place where you died and pick up your pack and your favorite weapon. Get there quick: your pack will disappear shortly.

Note that you can also kill yourself with a console command if you prefer.

related listings of “die well”
Skill level: weenie
topic: cowardice
topic: escape

hide

Nothing better than hiding when you’re feeling cowardly. If you don’t plan to shoot at anyone, head for the shadows.If you want to shoot at people, being in the dark doesn’t help you much, since firing from the shadows is a questionable proposition at best. All weapons but the hand grenade give off a muzzle flash, illuminating the area for several feet around you. In addition to muzzle flash, some shots leave a trail of particles behind them. Some observations:

  • railgun – may as well paint a big fluorescent “I’m Here” sign on your butt; a truly prodigious particle trail
  • hyper blaster – the disadvantages of the machine gun plus the disadvantages of the blaster; what bargain
  • BFG – that ball of death shore is bright, and shore does move slow
  • blaster and rocket launcher – shots move fairly slowly and leave an illuminated path as they go; not hard for an opponent to trach it back to you; the rocket launcher is worse sine rockets leave a particle trail too
  • grenade launcher – a little harder to trace than the rocket launcher, but the grenades do leave a particle trail
  • machine/chain gun – a continuous strobe show of muzzle flashes, very obvious in the dark
  • hand grenades – stealthy except for the particle trail
  • shotguns – completely stealthy except for the (very brief) muzzle flash.

Since firing from the shadows is so risky, you may need to take another tack. One decent bet is to stay in a lighted area, but to get a look at your opponent through some obstructions, so that you’re firing on your opponent but only a small part of your body is directly visible. Of course this means that your opponent doesn’t need to move much to get out of your line of fire.

related listings of “hide”
Skill level: weenie
topic: camping and sniping
topic: cowardice
topic: blaster
topic: shotgun
topic: super shotgun
topic: machine gun
topic: chain gun
topic: grenade launcher
topic: rocket launcher
topic: hyper blaster
topic: railgun
topic: bfg10k
topic: hand grenade

lava push

This is a variant on getting pushy, but one to use only when you’re (a) damned near indestructable, or (b) feeling a little suicidal.If you see someone with a blast radius weapon (e.g., grenade launcher or rocket launcher) right next to a pool of lava, run right up next to them. They’ll likely rip loose on you, and though you may expire yourself, the blast radius is likely to blow them into the lava. You’ll have the pleasure of hearing them turn a crispy brown.

Buckwheats

related listings of “lava push”
Skill level: loser
topic: cowardice
topic: offense

lie

If you want some cheap fun, accuse someone of cheating. Broadcast a message like “HEY DETHGOD ARE YOU CHEATING? I JUST HIT U WITH 4 BFGS!” The other players will either ignore you or, if they’re curious, run and try out their own rockets on DethGod.You can’t try this very often or people will get tired of hearing you whine and will come scrag your sorry butt. Which serves you right for doing something like this in the first place. Shame on you.

Note: recent versions of GameSpy (formerly QuakeSpy) let you filter out servers that allow cheating. So if you do try this weasel-like tactic it may backfire if someone knows cheating is impossible.

deadmeat

related listings of “lie”
Skill level: loser
topic: cowardice
topic: offense

milking a co-kill

Not that I’d encourage this kind of behavior, but…If more than one person dies in battle at the same time (e.g., you and another player kill each other), when you respawn take a quick step backward. If you’re lucky, you were the first to respawn and the other player will respawn in the same place as you did, letting you give them a couple of cheap shots from behind before they know what’s happening. If more than two die at once (e.g., a bunch of you are playing in the water when someone decides to rip loose with a thunderbolt) and/or you’re on a level with a small number of respawn spots, your odds of pulling this off improve.

Edan “Amoeba” Scriven

related listings of “milking a co-kill”
Skill level: trainee
topic: cowardice
topic: offense

over-eating

Here’s some extremely bad sportsmanship for you to have fun with. Let’s say you’re at maximum health, ammo, armor — whatever. You see some tasty little trinket lying around that you can’t pick up, but you also don’t want anyone else to get it. Fire off a round or two, or fire a rocket at a nearby wall (not too nearby) to take a little splash damage, then snarf the goody.A note from Ritchie Mudge, who submitted the tip: “NB. I’ve seen John Romero do this.”

Ritchie Mudge

anonymous
An anonymous tipster notes that you can also see Thresh use this tactic in the Thresh vs. Entropy demo, to deny Entropy the yellow armor.

related listings of “over-eating”
Skill level: loser
topic: cowardice
topic: gear

Quake2 skulking

The default multiplayer skins that come with Quake2 are more hiding-friendly than the Quake1 skins were — some more than others. You select your skin by choosing Multiplayer | Player Setup. If you’re a weenie and looking for every edge, try out one of the sneaker skins and hang out in the dark a lot. Sniper and Viper are both good for this.Bear in mind that frag gods will routinely fire into dark spaces (like long, dark hallways) for insurance, so be on your guard. The same rules apply as for hiding in Quake 1 — for example, the blue corkscrew makes that railgun a pretty bone-headed weapon to use if you’re hiding.

Sean Powersspshadow@macomb.com”>Sean Powers (DeMeNtIa)

related listings of “Quake2 skulking”
Skill level: weenie
topic: cowardice
topic: defense

scavenge

If you see two other players going at it, you can take advantage. The idea: let the other two bozos duke it out, then take out the winner. It’s cheap, but it’s fair. There are two basic approaches:

  1. Wait until the fight’s over, sitting well back so as not to get noticed or drawn in. When you see Bozo A expire, waste Bozo B, who will be worn down after the fight.
  2. If you can figure out who’s winning the little skirmish, or if you know who the better player is (you can recognize people by the color of their clothes), start shooting at that player. It’ll be you and some other Weenie collaborating to snuff a Quake God. Once the Quake God’s gone, that leaves a weakened Weenie for you. This approach is slightly less cowardly since it means you’ll get, like, shot at and stuff.

If you’re feeling particularly wussy today, go for the shrapnel attack.Do not shoot at the poorer of the two players. That will leave you to face the Quake God all by yourself once you’ve help to waste the other Weenie. Dumb.

related listings of “scavenge”
Skill level: weenie
topic: cowardice
topic: offense

scuba diving

This is an under-water form of camping. Stay under water as long as possible, shooting at peoples’ private parts as they swim along the surface. This works especially well when you’re playing a level that has underwater tunnels, since they give you an escape route when someone comes after you in righteous wrath (you wus).Keep in mind that in Quake 2, if you’re hanging out in a big open pool it’ll be relatively easy for people to spot (and eliminate) you.

Slayer

related listings of “scuba diving”
Skill level: weenie
topic: camping and sniping
topic: cowardice

shrapnel attack

If you see several players duking it out and you’ve got the rocket launcher, grenade launcher, or hand grenade — lay down some major chaos in the middle of the melee. Just keep firing into the middle of the fray until they’re all dead, you’re out of ammo, or somebody takes you out from behind.As with scavenging, this is generally considered to be non-cowardly behavior even by those who frown on camping. Sometimes life’s ironic, ain’t it.

Of course, the BFG is an optimal weapon for these sorts of melees. Not only will you probably take everyone out, but the noise of the ruckus they’re making will somewhat mask the sound of the BFG firing.

related listings of “shrapnel attack”
Skill level: weenie
topic: cowardice
topic: offense
topic: grenade launcher
topic: rocket launcher
topic: bfg10k
topic: hand grenade

sucker play

Pathetic Tactic Alert I’m reluctant to include this one. Very reluctant. This is really, really cheap. I didn’t think of this, and I’ve never done this. You shouldn’t do this either, if you have a shred of human decency. But as I noted on the first page, the Quake Weenie reveals all.If you have an idea of where your opponent is, send them a message that requires an involved response. I don’t know, something like “Wow, you’re great. How did you learn Quake?” Then, while they’re replying, sneak up and nail them.

Oh, man, it hurt to even type that.

Wow is that low.

I’ll be back in a minute. Gotta go wash my hands. Ick.

related listings of “sucker play”
Skill level: loser
topic: cowardice
topic: offense

suicide switch

Hope springs eternal, but sometimes you need to face the facts: you’ve got about 5 health left and a couple of snipers are whipping rockets at you. If you don’t think you’re going to be able to get away or take out your opponents, switch to the blaster. It may make you feel a little better to know that the folks who took you out won’t get any of your good weapons. This is a tricky call to make, but occasionally it’s the best option.Deino
related listings of “suicide switch”
Skill level: trainee
topic: cowardice
topic: escape
topic: blaster

teamplay static

Want to really get on peoples’ nerves?

Create a file static.scr that contains dozens of lines of garbage characters, for example:

say "^%$^%$^%$^%$$#%$#$$%$#%$#%$#%$#%$#%$"
...etc...

Now bind a key to exec the file. Hit the key frequently throughout your team play match to prevent communication between members of the other clan(s). Naturally this screws up your team’s communications too, but at least you’re the one who gets to decide when everyone will be annoyed.

Ginzberg[FTM]

Important: Ginzberg notes that neither FTM nor any other clan with a shred of self respect would even consider using this tip.

related listings of “teamplay static”
Skill level: loser
topic: cowardice

victimize the slow

Pathetic Tactic Alert Yet another tip I’m ashamed to include, but a tip’s a tip, especially when you’re so lost that you need any help you can get to make a single frag.In a network game, a player with a high ping time has a disadvantage. Typing “ping” at the console will show you ping times for all connected players. Look for the couple who have the highest ping times and pick on them. You’ll have an unfair advantage.

Look, pal, I’m only listing it. You’re the one who has to live with yourself if you so much as think of actually doing this.

Ake Wallebom (who was suitably ashamed)

By the way, anyone who pulls this stunt can’t whine when all the other kids start chanting “LPB, LPB, LPB…”

related listings of “victimize the slow”
Skill level: loser
topic: cowardice
topic: offense

weenie hunting

On a high-traffic server (with 8 or more people on a level), most levels will develop hot spots — places where the powerups are concentrated, or nice open areas that are fun for insane firefights.By and large, really good players will head straight for these areas since they know they have a prayer of surviving. Weenies, on the other hand, will often avoid these areas, not needing additional frag-borne confirmation of their inadequacies.

So pick up your favorite weapons and armor, then head for the boonies. You may find enough sheep wandering around to rack up the easy kills you need for a win.

See also: the boonies

HyperLogic

related listings of “weenie hunting”
Skill level: trainee
topic: cowardice
topic: offense

https://web-beta.archive.org/web/20010417211148/http://www.weenie.com:80/quake2/tipTopic/cowardice.shtml

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