1999 Quake 2 DM Video Introductory Offer

IT’S HERE!!

  We have just released the NEW! 1999 version of the QUAKE II DEATHMATCH INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO!

Have you been playing like a sap? 

Do you constantly try to be the “bigger person”?

Are your frags always in the negative?

Do railguns SCARE you?  

Do taunts make you cry?

Do you ACTUALLY believe that if you don’t shoot them, they WON’T SHOOT YOU?

If this is YOU, we can help!  

What QUAKE II DEATHMATCH INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO 99 can teach you could save your life!

Obviously our 1998 version didn’t do a damn thing for you since you’re here, so we redesigned the entire tape!

THIS year you will learn how to –

Shoot between your legs while running away!

Hide in dark corners and not make a sound!

Marvel the wonder of the handheld grenade…

We will show you how to sneak past a dogfight and poach players from afar!

You’ll learn where the railgun and BFG are in EVERY LEVEL!

How ISDN can make the other players helpless against you!

You will learn to hide and type random insults to players, just to break the ice!

We also include a bonus selection: Friendly fire tutorials

Remember, they can’t shoot you if they can’t see you!

Order NOW!  Call 1-800-3 -BADLAG

499.95 + S&H

Order by May 12 and you will also receive at the low, low cost of 49.95$ a tape:

Fashion and Killing: Cross Dressers in Deathmatch, narrated by Ru Paul.

Flamin’ Jane: Memoirs of a Lava Diver

Chair Fitness: How to play all day and stay Claudia Schiffer thin.

Guerrilla Love: Your soul mate made you mad? Blast him!

And as a SPECIAL part of our INTRODUCTORY OFFER we will throw in

“Makeup in Minutes: luscious lips by the light of your monitor’s screen”

ABSOLUTELY FREE!!

You play WAY to much Quake if…  by Megaira
Copyright © 1998 Megaira. All rights reserved

 

https://web.archive.org/web/20001211055400/http://www.planetquake.com:80/QWF/humor/Megaira/video.html

 

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