Data Force Clan: Russian Quake Humor — Qmor, by Crazer

Qmor: This page is about QUAKE humor. The page is still very raw, so do not demand.

1. Ogre goes in level, and drags a chainsaw behind him. HellKnight comes up to him and asks:

– And what are you carrying the chainsaw for yourself?

‘What do you offer me?’ Push it in front of you? : – /

***

2. ‘Dad, what’s this grandmother in the garden zigzags zigzagging?’ asks father little quaker.

‘To whom the grandmother, and to whom the frag! Well, son, give me more missiles!’

***

3. There is a match in CTF. And one ‘blue’ breaks into the enemy base, takes the flag, and, under heavy fire of the ‘red’ rushing back to its base … The whole command writes to him in a chat; ‘Give the RL Player! Give the RL Player!’

He does not pay attention, reaches his base and grabs the red flag!

– Why didn’t you give RL?

‘But I captured the flag!’ eight-()

– Yes? You captured the flag, and Player’a at @ # ali! : ~ – (

***

4. From the Quake FAQ (CTF):

Q: I just logged on to the CTF server. How to know – blue or red?

A: If your command you @ # ut – blue. If from @ # $ chicks – red!

***

5. From a dialogue on one Ukrainian CTF server:

– Father! How to get to the red base?

– And you, Muscovite, even better! / Shot from RL … /

***

6. A girl sits on a bench, instead of nostrils – bloody rags … Reasoning to himself:

‘That’s right! I took Quad Power, and sneezed so sneezed !!!’ g8)

***

7. I stand 5 minutes with a red flag in place.

Either hook hooked, or ping ~ 1200.

***

Advertising: Several Chumblers go in level and fight a crowd of quakers … Quakers knock one, two, three … There is only one Shambler who continues to throw lightning and tear poor quakers to pieces … He turns his back to the camera and viewers see a large Energizer battery sticking out of his back! Voice-over: ‘And only the Energizer battery continues to work, work and work!’

***

The inscription on the quaker’s grave:
Respawn — 1974,
Was gibbed by — 1997.”

https://web.archive.org/web/19970531220454fw_/http://www.dataforce.net/~crazer/quake/humor.html

Data Force Clan — Skin

https://web.archive.org/web/19970531213653fw_/http://www.dataforce.net/~crazer/quake/q_skin.html

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